๐ Christmas, Pain, and the Quiet Gift of Taking Care of Yourself
๐Christmas carries many colours.
For some, itโs excitement and anticipation.
For others, itโs pressure, comparison, expectation, or a time when old grief and memories surface more strongly.
And for many living with persistent symptoms, Christmas can feel like trying to decorate a tree while the lights keep flickering.
Culturally, we move into December with an unspoken belief that we should be able to cope with everything โ to be joyful, organised, energetic, sociable, and available.
But your nervous system doesnโt read the calendar.
It responds to load, not dates.
Even excitement loads the system.
Even good anticipation is still arousal.
Even happy gatherings take energy.
And pain does not know itโs Christmas.
๐ฅ Prefer to watch or listen?
Hereโs the video version of this post, where I walk you through the topic in a gentle, grounded way.
Christmas, Pain, and the Quiet Gift of Taking Care of Yourself
๐ฟ The December Load: Why Everything Feels Bigger
When life becomes fuller โ emotionally, physically, socially โ your body doesnโt just track what is happening.
It tracks everything that might happen:
extra work and deadlines
family expectations
gift buying and financial pressure
emotional memories that resurface
disrupted routines
lack of rest
the pressure to โmake it specialโ
None of this means something is wrong with you.
It means youโre human.
And sensitivity rises when loads rise.
This is physiology, not failure.
๐ A Moment of Permission
If there is one message to hold onto this Christmas, it is this:
You are allowed to pace.
You are allowed to soften.
You are allowed to pause.
You are allowed to be human in December.
Grace is not weakness.
Grace is wisdom.
โจ Before, During & After: Small Moments of Care That Make a Difference
Your nervous system doesnโt need perfection โ it needs completions.
Small actions, gentle rituals, and tiny spaces of agency matter far more than you think.
Here are simple practices woven naturally through the festive season, each paired with a supportive tool if you want it.
โญ Before the Day Begins โ Grounding & Softness
A few minutes of calm before stepping into the day changes everything.
hold a warm drink in both hands
three slow breaths
gentle neck or shoulder stretch
soften the jaw and belly
let your system know: โWeโre not rushing.โ
A helpful addition:
A weighted eye mask can help reduce morning tension and provide the system with a calm start.
๐ https://amzn.to/4iWpUlz
โญ During the Chaos โ Micro-Pauses That Pull You Back to Yourself
Christmas rarely offers natural pauses, so you may need to insert them yourself.
step outside for 30โ60 seconds
slow exhale before answering a question
relax your shoulders every hour
place a hand on your chest or stomach as a grounding cue
excuse yourself to the bathroom for a moment of quiet
A subtle support for this:
A slow-breathing necklace acts as a wearable reminder to lengthen the exhale when emotions rise or overwhelm creeps in.
๐ https://amzn.to/4pJPsEn
โญ After the Event โ Letting the System Land Again
The body needs a soft landing strip after stimulation.
Try:
a warm bath
dim lights
a short journal entry
5 minutes of legs-up-the-wall
stepping into another room for quiet before bed
Calming tools you might enjoy:
Magnesium bath flakes โ a gentle, soothing evening ritual.
๐ https://amzn.to/4ovfBpt
An electric heating pad โ warmth tells the system โyou can settle now.โ
๐ https://amzn.to/4iGcyJS
A white noise machine โ helpful for sleep when the house is noisy or emotions feel loud.
๐ https://amzn.to/48wMjRs
๐ The Emotional Side of Christmas That No One Sees
Christmas often awakens deeper layers:
missing someone who is no longer here
wishing you felt differently
feeling behind socially or physically
comparing your life to others
wanting Christmas to feel like โit used toโ
Pain often amplifies these emotions, not because the feelings are dangerous, but because they are human.
Your nervous system is not trying to ruin anything.
It is trying to protect you.
And sometimes it needs more reassurance than usual.
๐น Taking Responsibility Without Self-Blame
Taking responsibility for small acts of care is not the same as believing you caused your pain.
Responsibility is simply agency.
A choice to place yourself somewhere in the circle of care โ not at the edge, not last, not forgotten.
This Christmas, instead of giving everyone everything, see if you can provide yourselfโฆ something.
A moment.
A breath.
A warm bath.
A pause.
A soft place to land.
For some, thatโs the biggest gift of all.
๐ Thoughtful Gifts That Support Calm, Comfort & Self-Connection
If youโd like to treat yourself or someone you care about, here are gentle, helpful options:
Weighted Eye Mask: a soothing start or end to the day
๐ https://amzn.to/4iWpUlzMagnesium Bath Flakes: a calming evening ritual
๐ https://amzn.to/4ovfBptBreathing Necklace: a quiet โslow downโ cue
๐ https://amzn.to/4pJPsEnElectric Heating Pad: warmth for tense muscles & emotional settling
๐ https://amzn.to/4iGcyJSWhite Noise Machine: support for sleep or calming breaks
๐ https://amzn.to/48wMjRsMeditation Cushion: a dedicated space to pause, breathe, reflect
๐ https://amzn.to/4pkAIMA
These arenโt solutions or fixes โ theyโre companions on the journey, small anchors that bring your system back to safety.
๐ A Closing Reflection
Place a hand on your chest, if that feels okay.
Ask gently:
โWhat would it look like if I treated myself with the same care I offer others this Christmas?โ
Please let whatever arises be enough for you.
Wishing you a Christmas rich in softness, space, and self-kindness.
With warmth,
Drew
The Pain Habit
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โจ CTA โ If Youโd Like More Support
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But truly โ take what you need, in your own time.

